thotfromsoul

SHE FINALLY ARRIVES!

2006-11-10T15:46:00.000+08:00

Brought my nephew, Jac, along to Vivo City, to welcome the old lady - Doulos. Finally, she had arrived! It was a strange feeling. For those two years when I was onboard, I was always among fellow Douloids standing onboard waving to those at the quayside welcoming us. But yesterday, I was welcoming fellow friends, waiting for the ship to dock, waiting to go onboard.... It was an unemotional moment for me to meet up special friends, though I do miss them and am looking forward to catch up with them. Just that I'm not particularly emotional about it, just strange feelings.

Jac was very curious about the ship, and about the way the crew lowered the gangways and the vans. He asked many, many questions, and talked a lot. I meant, a lot. Pretty tiring to attend to him alone :P. But, I am glad to have brought him along. He was a month's old when I left for the ship. His mom had mentioned the ship to him during my absent. My ship friends also knew about him. So, it was a good opportunity to things and person in place - for my friends to finally see him, and for him to finally see the boat - he kept referring Doulos to "the boat". He was especially fascinated by the crane lifting and lowering the gangways and vehicles, that he kept using his own toys to play crane. It's so nice to be young, to let imagination runs wild.

Oh...just a side track before I sign off.....learnt a new vocabulary from Ivan. It's "duck power". Don't understand what it means? Ask Ivan :P.

BEAUTIFUL!

2006-10-30T17:54:00.000+08:00

Our prayer time was resumed yesterday. It seemed long, though it was only about 3 weeks ago since we last met after YF for prayer. I was glad that we were able to gather again in such a manner. One thing was different though, Don led us in a short time of worship :P. He played guitar and we sang 2 songs. Was very proud of him and appreciate his effort in practising. I think Ivan was glad too to see his disciple improving so fast. I guess the greatest joy is to see someone so passionate and devoted to a cause for the glory of God. Keep it up, Don! And Ivan, continue to pass your skill on; for in imparting you will also grow and improve!

YF had a simple farewell for Joshua Chang, our intern from SBC. It was another beautiful time as we reflected on those moments he was ministering side by side with us. It was sad to say GoodBye, but encouraging to know that he moves on to further impact other lives, growing in his ministry skills, and experiencing God's sufficient grace in his life. It's beautiful to see young lives passionate and devoted for God and His Work!

It was confirmed this morning by uncle Tan that Ruth is pregnant! I am so excited! Never have I kept fish that survived till they reproduce. I can't wait to see the little ones appear in that bowl. Hmm, Don, please prepare the new home you promised not too long ago :p. New lives are beautiful gifts from God!

AN ANSWERED PRAYER THAT BRINGS SUCH JOY TO MY HEART!

2006-10-27T09:40:00.000+08:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6.

Lately I was very, very concerned...anxious...worried about the Dec's E-Camp. The day is drawing near, yet it seems that most of the important things are still left undone. In particular, the booking of campsite, the invitation of speaker, etc. The stress was indeed great that I was very ready to call it quit!

However, God's word has been my very source of comfort and confident during those moments, in particular Proverbs 3:5,6 (learned it again with Ivan, Don, Yuki, Fengnan last 2 months. I said "again" because this was one of the very 1st verses I memorised when I was a young Christian.) This verse kept reminding me to trust God for His help and provision, and not lean on my own understanding based on what I saw and experienced.

So now, we had the campsite booked, AND speaker invited! God is so good! And about the speaker, I am so excited for she not only agreed to the invitation to be the speaker, but also offers to help with training some of the youths to do miming for the concert. And I believed she will also be valuable advisor to me in planning the whole concert, for she is very passionate about reaching the lost. I am very thankful for God's provision!

Indeed, this answered prayer from the God has brought great joy to my troubled soul.
Thank you, my good Lord!

ANOTHER UNEVENTFUL DAY!

2006-10-19T15:53:00.000+08:00

Was my day-off yesterday. Planned to catch the movie Rob-A-Hood at Vivo because Don said Vivo's cinema was good. Why Rob-A-Hood? Well, critics said it was comical and entertaining, and my niece said she enjoyed it. So, enough reason to go for it.

However, I slept till 1pm (Mind me....1PM!) and that goes with my movie plan. So I stayed at home KLKK, and time simply flies. But, I would say it still was a good day-off - a day of rest!

Am glad that the booking of campsite for this Dec is done and I am going down later in an hour's time to make the payment. That will finalize the bookings and leave us with the planning to work on. Well, another big headache is the invitation of Speaker. We are pretty late, and the period of our camp is not a good one. Most speakers are taking a break from their heavy schedule to recuperate and spend time with family. Really need to pray earnestly for God's grace.

ACE and Youth BS have stopped temporarily and this gives me time to meet up with individuals. So, this week saw me meeting a youth's parent, Steffi and Stacy, which is helpful for me to keep in-touch.

Doulos is coming in 21 days time!

SCHOOL HOLIDAY IS ROUND THE CORNER!

2006-10-17T12:19:00.000+08:00

School holiday is beginning soon, and I have been bugging with the idea that we should have more informal, fun programmes for the yfers, such as steamboat evening, musical nite in church, which don't need much preparation but give lots of opportunities to invite friends and build bonding among our own youths. Though we do have a camp coming up at the end of this year, and we have Christmas busy season too, but I guess the youths would welcome this idea too right? Afterall, when do the youths have time for fun without having to worry about school works and projects?

Hei, you who read this blog, do give me your comments and suggestions, if any.

I like the idea of having more informal programmes for this holiday.

Oh...Don has graciously offered to give Ruth and Boaz, and the Fruit of the Spirit a new home. How sweet is he! Shall update when the new home arrives.

I AM BACK!

2006-10-13T10:46:00.000+08:00

Mine....mine....It has been a long while since I last blogged. Nearly forget I did have a blog...lol. Am glad that during my MIA Julia and Pei Lin visited and tagged. Thank you for your support, regardless whether I blog or not.

Doulos is coming! I am very excited about it. Had just promised to be there twice a week during my day-off to lead tours. This is something I always wanted to do during my 2-years onboard but never have a chance because of my other responsibilities. God is good to grant me my wish this time round. I shall be an efficient, friendly, and excellent tour guide!

Ruth and Boaz are still happily swimming around in the bowl. The fruit of the Spirit is also growing strong with many more fruits being bore. Maybe I need to seriously consider a new home for Ruth, Boaz, and the fruit of the Spirit. Any sponsor??? If you don't understand what I'm talking about, you may need to go back to my few initial blogs to get the history.

Anyway, it's good to be back!

FINALLY, GRACE IS GONE!

2006-07-31T10:03:00.000+08:00

It was also a Sunday, just like 2 Sundays ago.
Stepping into the office, looking into the bowl,
To discover Grace's death, as I did Mercy's.
No time to feel sad,
No time to take a last clear look at her.
Quickly I scooped her up from the bowl,
And put her into the bin...sigh!

But I am thankful for those short 2 wks and 4 days,
which God gave Grace to me.
I had enjoyed her presence!

AN UNPLEASANT EMAIL

2006-07-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

Received an unpleasant email today and it caused a little unpleasant feeling within me. Thought it was a show of concern but was taken to be a busybody =[.

Interpersonal relationship! Sigh....Its never easy to relate to people. A word said, a gesture done in thought to mean one thing might be taken, interpreted to mean another. Actually, it's tiring to work with people. Sometimes I asked the Lord, "Can I don't bother? For whatever happens to them got nothing to do with me." However, it got to do with the Lord, and it matters to Him. That's why, I have to bother.

The Lord has to pour forth double portion of his grace unto me, to sustain me through this unpleasant encounter.

TWO THINGS HAPPENED IN MY SLEEP!

2006-07-26T10:16:00.000+08:00

Can't wait to put these down! Be prepared, it's going to be a long one!

1) In the dream I missed the Sunday's prayer time with Charles, Ivan, Don, Yuki. We had not been able to meet for prayer for the last 2 Sundays because of other meetings. (Actually, to be exact, we did have prayer time one of that 2 Sundays. But it was such a short, rush one that I felt I didn't really pray but was just going through the formality. To truly enjoy the sweet communion with God and edifying fellowship with fellow prayer warriors through prayer time, we need to have time.) So, I sent out emails to the guys to inform them we must pray this coming Sunday. However, I had friends from Indonesia visited. I was very happy to receive them but I didn't really see them in my dream, just their families. It was strange! I tried very hard to want to meet them, but they always seemed to be elsewhere (I was a little confused in my dream). Any way, at one point I looked at my watch and saw it was close to 4pm, and it dawned on me there and then that it was Sunday! And I supposed to meet up the guys for prayer! And I was not in church! My goodness! I woke up! Whew! It was only a dream, an unpleasant dream, I would call it.

I really missed the prayer time. So, guys, let's meet this Sunday ya!

2) I woke up from the dream. It was morning already but I tried to sleep again. Remember, I said I needed a full 24-hour sleep! Today is my day-off, so I wanted to sleep more, though I know it will not be 24-hour. As I was in that half sleep, half awake mode, thoughts of my Aug's sermon text, OT, NT, and Psalm's scriptures reading came to my mind. I had read them through a 2nd time yesterday in office, and had worked on my observations on the sermon text. But, I clicked on the wrong button at the end of working and didn't save the whole file (Don knew I had lost a file - a 2-pages hard work). This happened at about 10 minutes to 6. I had dinner appointment with friends at 7pm at Causeway point, so didn't have time to redo all that I had lost.

But now, in this dreamy condition, the main point of each scripture text came to mind, and the structure of the sermon outline flows in - The Introduction, the Body, the Application. I'm so excited about it! This was different from what I initially thought my sermon would be. Initially, I planned to use the OT reading to be my sermon text, but the inspiration today was to use the Sermon text and incorporate the other scripture readings. Wow! The thought kept coming in that I no longer could continue my sleep. I woke up to pen down the pointers (lest I forget) and to enter this blog!

It's so exciting! I can't wait to see the final work of my sermon! That's why I always say I love to preach and teach - not the part of standing before an audience, but the part seeing and experiencing the work of God in the process of preparations, and the part of learning the Word of God in relation to the audience and myself 1st hand from the Holy Spirit. That was a beautiful encounter!

GRACE, RUTH & BOAZ ARE STILL ALIVE!

2006-07-25T08:59:00.000+08:00

Praise the Lord! The Trio are still moving about actively after 8 days, which is a comforting sight. I am always worry that one day, especially the day after my day-off, I may return to the office to find one of them belly up. Sigh! The life of a fish is so fragile! Remember 2 Sundays' ago Mercy died? I was afraid to see the same would happen last Sunday that I prayed for God's preservation on Friday before I left office. Yes, I prayed that God will keep them healthy, lively, and extend their lives as long as a fish should live.

Why pray to God? Well, I have done my part in keeping the bowl clean, in feeding their regularly, in talking to them softly, yet I still have no ability to keep them alive. Only the Creator God could do so! So, the wisest thing to do is to bring them before Him.

You may say, "It's just a fish, and fish does die easily."

I knew that. Remember, I once had a fish bowl at home too, and every other day one fish died until we gave up after (I think) half a year of trying. Yet, it still makes me sad to see one dying or died.

So, I am trusting in my good Lord to keep these Beloved Trio going. Each morning as I stood before the bowl, I thanked God that they are still swimming about!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20,21

2 FRIENDS TO KEEP GRACE ACCOMPANIED

2006-07-18T16:07:00.000+08:00

Uncle Tan insisted that I have these 2 members for Grace. "Grace is too lonely," he said. He told me they are called "American fish". They are smaller in size, compared to Grace, but more beautiful. They are couple! As usual, the male is brighter, shinier, smaller, and more attractive than the female. The male has glowing yellow colour with black dots, and the female, in comparison, a little dull. Both are very active.

What shall I call them? Ruth and Boaz!

I don't want to be pessimisstic, but can't help to wonder....how long will they survive?

'MERCY' IS DEAD!

2006-07-17T10:33:00.000+08:00

On Sunday morning, as I walked to church, I was still counting the days Grace and Mercy had been with me. I told myself that I would call for a celebration and put in my blog with headline: "Grace and Mercy have survived _____ days with me!" But then, the moment I stepped into the office and looked into my small little fish and plant tank, I saw Grace swimming about but Mercy lying at the bottom of the tank belly up. Sob...sob.... So, Mercy only survived for 4 days. So short! sob...sob...

I knew Grace and Mercy will not last very long, based upon my past experiences. There was a time when I decided to have a fish tank at home, a friend bought me one. Then, my 2nd sis bought me some fish and fish tank accessories (I bought nothing!) and soon a fish tank with 6 guppies were at home! But, after a while, the fish died one after another. We bought some more fish, and they continue to die one by one.

So, I was not expecting to see Grace and Mercy live long. However... not that fast lah! Uncle Tan wanted to give me another fish to keep Grace accompany. But...but... I am hestiant. Not sure whether could I bear with another death. Shall see...shall see.

I BEGIN THIS DAY THIS WAY....

2006-07-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

Woke up close to 9 am and was still feeling tired and sleep. If I need not have to go back to work (tomorrow's session with the YAF is still not fully ready yet), I probably would go back to meet uncle Zhou (zhou gong). So...got up, washed up, dressed up, and go!

(In between washed up and dressed up 2nd sis came back from outside and said, "Call the maintenance, someone is trapped in the lift!" And I replied sheepishly, "Call lah.")

Anyway, so the lift on my floor was out of order (it has been in and out of order for days already), so I needed to walk down to the 10th floor to use the other one. Waited for a little while, the lift came, got in, and went down, touch ground...

Ha! Here was where I awaken! Suddenly, I realised I was wearing my high-heel shoes with 3/4 causal pants and a blouse! To some it might be a OK match, but to me...I looked weird. Thank goodness I was still in the lift and alone. So, press DC, lift went up, got out, walk a storey up, went home and changed into scandals!

What a day to begin with. I'm seldom so blurr in the morning (I'm more a morning person). But, I believe this day is going to be great! Will be in office to get my lesson ready for tomorrow, than evening am going to 5th sis place for steamboat! Yummy! Yummy! Have not eaten family steamboat (don't like those sold outside, too much msg) for 3 years. I could smell the food now :)! Not just the food, it's the fellowship...and I will be seeing my little Jessie and Jac!

It's going to be a beautiful day!

Ray? Rey? Anyway, he is coming!

2006-07-14T10:12:00.000+08:00

You peng zi yuan fang lai, bu yi le hu!

A Taiwanese friend, Su-rey, from Doulos is arriving this afternoon! Am looking forward to receive him. He had been a wonderful brother, always seeking to bring the asian brothers and sisters together, and always looking for opportunities to minister to the overseas Chinese in the countries the ship visited. He is also very musically talented! When I was in Taiwan last Dec, I was staying in his parents' home. The hospitality I received was superb! So, am very glad to be able to "repay" his parents' kindness this time by spending some time (though very limited time)with him and some other friends.

Wonder how he looks like now since we last parted. That was 10 months ago! Times is superby fast!

It is great to see old friends again!

THANKS DON, FOR THE NEW SKIN.

2006-07-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

Don came over last evening to help change my blog skin. Initially, I thought it was going to be a simple few minutes' job (this shows how much I know about blogging stuff) but it took him almost 2 hours! Of course, it was also because Don is a perfectionist. He wanted to do his best for my blog. To that, I deeply appreciate him.

So now, see my new blog skin :)! How is it? Well, whether you like it or not doesn't really matter, what matter most is that I like it! Once again, thank you Don!

PLEASE WELCOME GRACE & MERCY INTO MY LIFE!

2006-07-12T09:41:00.000+08:00

Grace and Mercy were given to me a moment ago by Uncle Tan, our caretaker. They are beautiful! They are both orangey red in colour with gold/black shiny eyes, and have black fins. Grace is bigger in size. Now, both of them live among the fruit of the Spirit. Seeing Grace and Mercy moving about among the fruit of the Spirit is exhilarating. The joy is inexpressible!

So, when you come by my desk, do say "Hi" to my Grace and Mercy. Remember, Grace is the bigger one and Mercy is smaller one.

GOD'S ALMIGHTY WORK DOESN'T DEPEND ON THE AMOUNT OF FAITH I HAVE!

2006-07-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

I was very edified by Rev. Kee's today's sermon on Mark 6:1-6.

First, the point that the Almighty God, who specialises in miracles was not able to perform any in His home town because of the people's lack of faith. This point appeared to me very clearly and strongly today, though on many other occasion I had read about it already. Just imagine! The Creator, living God actually wasn't able to perform miracles because of the unbelief of His created beings (v.5)! This is incredible! How our faith or the lack of it meant to God!

Second, as long as we have faith - either strong or weak one, God will still fulfill His promises of providing for us, keeping us safe in His grace, and carrying us through life's challenges. God is faithful all the time!

What a comfort to understand this true!

MY HEART IS WARMED ...

2006-07-08T09:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a day where my heart was filled with gratitude for the things I experienced and saw.

First, as I mentioned in my last blog, my visiting Lily in the afternoon had turned out to be one of God's avenue to guide me in my thoughts and plans for ministry next year. It is comforting to know that God is with me and He is leading me. It is exciting to be God's workman in His workplace. My heart is warmed at the thought of seeing the 2 plans materialised soon. Thank you, Lord!

Second, last evening's BS we had Stacy joined us. When we 1st started this BS in late April 06, I had thought of including Stacy and Steffi had also suggested that we involved her. However, somehow I was a little hesitant for I felt she was not ready then. However, over the last 3 months, God had done marvelous things in her life. I kept hearing from the BS boys commenting that her attitude toward God has changed for the better. When I had lunch with her on Tuesday, it was a clear confirmation of what the boys were telling me. So, I invited her and she accepted the invitation! My heart is warmed in knowing God has given us a special opportunity to be of ministry with Stacy, and for her to minister to us too. It is so special!

Third, the BS ended and we were all at the foyer engaging in pat talk (looks like no one wants to leave yet for we enjoyed the fellowship. It's so good to be in like-minded fellowship!). Then Ivan then made an announcement that Charles had something to say to the group. Apparently Charles was given an offer to work in Hainan, China and he needed to give his answer the next day, that is TODAY! Charles was perplexed as the offer was attractive but he was also concerned for the youth ministry that he is actively involved in. At the end of Charles' brief sharing, Ivan said, "Let us pray for Charles (not his exact words)." The the whole group surrounded Charles and lifted him up before the All-knowing God. My heart was warmed at the sight of these young men/women at their 18-20 having this loving and caring heart for fellowship brethrens, which was put into visible action. Actually, I already knew about Charles dilemna while the groups were in BS. I'm shameful to say that I didn't think of getting the groups to pray for him. But, to have the initiative comes from the youths themselves has a different and deeper significant. Sally said these are wonderful young people (again not her exact words), and I fully agreed. My heart is deeply warmed to see there young people grow in totality in their spiritual journey with the Lord. And I'm very glad to be given this wonderful privilege to be part of their spiritual pilgrimage, to witness this transformation from the Lord. What greater joy than to see fellow brethrens living out Jesus' command to "Love one another....By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34,35)

Indeed! My heart is deeply warmed!

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL CAME OUT OF VISITATION

2006-07-07T19:33:00.000+08:00

Went to visit Lily this afternoon. Purpose was to find out how she is since she expressed some concerns on salvation during the retreat. We had a good 2 hour chat. I asked how her life is now since her 3 children had grown up - an age where they no longer need her close monitoring (to which she answered she is very happy to be a home maker and has no desire to return to the work force), how her current ministry is in QLC (to which she expressed her at times weariness and desire to call it a day), and what her plan is for future ministry. Through the conversation I discovered that she has a passion for women ministry and her care group is contemplating embracing prayer and praise ministry as their CG ministry.

Interestingly, I just mentioned to Joanne 3 weeks ago, after returning from LCS Retreat, that I would like to be involved in women's ministry next year when Julia is back to take over the YF. I also had been talking to Roslind about the prayer ministry in church and we had agreed that the current way of running the P & P needs some changes. We had been praying about how we could be a part in implementing that change.

So, to hear from Lily about her passion and her CG's plan straight away linked me to my thoughts and plans for next year. It seems to me a confirmation from the Lord to move toward these 2 directions. I am excited about it! God's work done in God's way will not lack God's resources! It seems God is already providing me with the manpower to do the tasks He had laid on my heart! And this revelation is disclosed during a visitation!

That's why I am an advocate for visitation, for it not only keep people connected, but also in the process experienceing God bringing to light some ideas and plans and resources!

Thank you Lord, for this beautiful disclosure of your guidance.

LITTLE JESSIE GIRL IS SICK!

2006-07-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

My lovely little niece, Jessie, is down with fever since Monday. Her temperature is fluctuating between 38 and 39 degree C. Because Seng, my brother was going to work till late night, so HH, my sis-in-law asked me to bunk at their place for the night, to help up in case.... This early morning Jess' temperature went up to 40 degree C. So, her dad had to give her a cold shower, of which she screamed and cried throughout! Finally, her mom decided to bring her to the GP, after 3 days of monitoring. The doc said it is virus infection [like my desktop :(]. Pray that she will be fine soon.

I find that I'm more gan cheong than Jess' parents (afterall, Jess is their 2nd child and they are experienced in handling situation like this, but for me.....) Whole night I was praying for Jess and couldn't sleep, 'cos was worried that her fever might be too high that might affect her brain. So, woke up regularly to check on her, and sponged her. It really isn't easy to be parents, for you will always have to worry for and about your children no matter how old they are. I was also reminded of the sermon I preached 2 Sundays ago on "Storms of Life". If anything unpleasant happens to Jess, it would be a storm not only to her parents but also to me. What would my respond be? Would I be able to say "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, still my heart will choose to say, 'Blessed be your Name'?"

I dare not think further...

GERMANY IS OUT OF WORLD CUP FINAL!

2006-07-05T13:43:00.000+08:00

It's so sad! Germany is out! First Brazil, now Germany! What am I going to watch for in this World Cup Final now? Since watching the quarter final match between Germany and Argentina and this early morning's Germany against Italy, I had grown to like Ballack and Odonkor. Ballack is truly skilful and calm. Saw he "took" the ball from the legs of the Italy a few time. That was exciting. Odonkor, though a relief and usually would only enter the field toward the end of 2nd half or beginning of extra time, but each time with his entry, the game seemed to pick up it's pace and got more "gan zhong". He was pretty past. So, it's very sad that I won't be seeing them in the finals :(.

I'm still sad!

I WATCH QUARTER FINALS FOR THE 1ST TIME!

2006-07-01T15:35:00.000+08:00

Wow! I watched World Cup Quarter Final for the 1st time in my life, and watch it with my 5th sis and her husband and Yiting (their 2nd daughter) and my youngest brother Gabriel, and many other gamblers! We were watching the match between Germany & Argentina in the Turf Club at Bukit Merah. Initially, planned to watch it at the MacDonald, but it was already fully occupied half an hour before the game. Thank God that my bro in-law overheard a da sao mentioning free viewing in the Turf Club. It was spacious, air-conditioned, big seats, big screen, smoke free (this one thing I really want to say a Big Bravo to our Government for banning smoking in enclosed rooms), and free entertainment from those bookies who shouted for the team their supported (maybe I should say, the team they betted).

Was disappointed with Germany - so careful with they play, mainly defense hardly attack. It was rather boring during the 1st half of the game. Argentina was good. Most of the time the ball was in their control. Just that they couldn't get the ball pass the German defenders. The game got excited after the Argentinians shot their 1st goal about 10 minutes into the 2nd half. It was interesting to see how the Germans sped up and sought all opportunities to send the ball through the goal keeper. The game turned uninteresting again after the Germans successfully scored 1 ball. In the end...well, you know the result already.

So, I enjoyed the game last night, but suffered the aftermath of it today. Was so...so...so...tired this morning till now. Late night is really not for old ladies like me:(. But, I still want to watch the semi finals and the final!

I'M GOING TO PREACH ON SUNDAY!

2006-06-22T11:44:00.000+08:00

This Sunday is my turn again to preach! I really love the discipline of studying the Word of God in preparation to share it with fellow brethrens, though standing before a congregation brings a lot of stress. For in the process, I learned more, grew deeper, and understood better the way and will of God. The joy of experiencing God's help in coming up with the Sermon Themes and Outlines is simply exciting, faith-stretching, and....ya great!

Am looking forward to see God using the sermon to bless all who are presence!

Thank God for such opportunities and help.

JUST EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS

2006-06-20T11:07:00.000+08:00

The LCS Retreat is over! But the messages stayed with me! Had been edified by Right Reverent Roger Solomon's (Bishop of the Methodist Church) messages on our Theme "Building a house that bears the Name of the Lord." So much he had shared, which it is impossible for me to put them down in this one blog. Will post them one at a time in my next few days' blogs, so that you who visit this blog will be blessed too.

Read someone's blog today. He/She is very, very disappointed with God. In one of his/her entry he/she expressed his/her ultimate hatred for God. This person is not the 1st, and will not be the last, to feel that way about God. Through centuries, many (even among those who grew up in the Church) had expressed such a feeling toward God. Nevertheless, I still feel sad for God and for this person.

God always, without fail, gets the blame when things go wrong. After all, He is the Almighty God and supposed to be there to stop every wrong/evil from happening to us, right? Wrong! God never promises that! But He did promise His presence and His deliverance according to His way and plan, not ours. In all happenings in this world and in our lives, we should allow God's Word in Isaiah 55:8,9 (God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours), Deuteronomy 29:29 (The secret things belong to God), and Romans 8:28 (God works for the good of those who love Him) to keep our hearts close to God. After all, there are alot of things in this world that we do not, and will never, know and understand. We are finite persons with finite understanding, how could we fully comprehend the spiritual world!

As for this person, his/her bitterness will only do one thing - leading him/her further and further away from God, and building up the depth of bitterness within him/her. And that's why I am sad for him/her. For a person with a well of bitterness within will never see hope, sunshine, love, forgiveness, joy, and all the things that bring gladness to the heart.

Oh Lord, please help this person!

2006-06-13T09:41:00.000+08:00

That's my beloved Doulos - my home for 2 years! See how beautiful she is!

Back to thought for today:
My Scripture reading for today speaks of the 2 Kings of Judah (the Kingdom of David had just split into the Northern and Southern, with the Northern called Israel and the Southern, Judah) whose hearts were half hearted toward God. King Rehoboam (Solomon's son) "did evil because he HAD NOT SET HIS HEART ON SEEKING THE LORD.", and King Abijah (Rehoboam's son) "committed all the sins... his heart WAS NOT FULLY DEVOTED TO THE LORD HIS GOD." The thought and comtemplation from COVER TO COVER commended that "when we fail to SEEK the Lord, then it follows as the night follows the day that we will not SERVE the Lord."

Is my heart fully devoted to my Lord? Have I set my heart on seeking my God?

Dear Lord, please let not my heart be far from you. Please keep me devoted to you.

DROWNED IN THE SWEET FELLOWSHIP OF GOD

2006-06-12T17:00:00.000+08:00

I had a very good day yesterday. The BS with Rachel, Josiah, Shireen in Big M was a good change of venue, it's a pity that Kaityn wasn't able to be with us due to illness. I simply love the time learning God's word together with God's people! It's encouraging, reaffirming, refreshing to particularly me - after being a Christian for over 20 years, I need to rekindle my love for Christ and His Word.

Then, in the afternoon, we (our usual small group) had our prayer meeting. It was so sweet to meet again for prayer after 2 weeks' break (that was long!). This time round, we had Gordon joined us :]. It was a little strange for him as this was his very first time engaged in such a prayer session. Hope he will not be too shy and afraid to join us again next time (it will be 2 Sundays later, since we will all be in Malacca for our church retreat). I'm very thankful to God that this prayer group was formed and this prayer time fixed. This has been a strengthening time, deepening moment, enriching encounter for (I believe) all of us present. Our friendship with one another is strengthened, our faith in God is deepened, our encounter with God is enriched! And I felt that our service in YF is empowered too! I do pray that more youths will join us for this prayer session, to encounter such blessings from God.

Thank you Lord, for this prayer group and for this time of talking with You.

SHORT AND TIRING, YET GREAT!

2006-06-10T11:56:00.000+08:00

Paul tagged on my blog saying that my cut-short trip might be a blessing in disguise, and true enough, it was!

Was back yesterday afternoon feeling extremely tired! So, I was a little glad (ONLY a little because I really wanted to have BS) to hear that the BS was cancelled as they were going for GoFest. And guess what? I only spent a day out sightseeing and buying some stuff, and another day catching up with friends onboard! Indeed, talking to people is really energy draining! Moreover, the cabin we were in were very noisy and hot because of the engines beneath us. So, didn't really get good sleep during the 3 nights we were there. Imagine if we were to be there for 4 nights! That would drain us further and I might not be able to have my BS with the YAF on Sunday!

But, I really, really had very wonderful time onboard Doulos - to see old friends again, to hug them and listen to them, to simply walk about seeing familiar things lying around, and to again see, feel, hear, and experience afresh God's touch in the lives of many. What a privilege to be onboard!

And, I'm also glad to be back. Am eager to see my young friends again. It seems so long not hearing their voices, not msning with Don, not receiving call or sms from Charles, Ivan, Yuki, and others, and not sitting before my laptop. I'm looking forward to have BS with Kai Lin, Shireen, Rachel, Josiah, and Christina on Sunday. Somehow, there is also joy in my heart to learn the word of God together with someone. Thank you God, for your Word and the opportunity to study it.

BAGS FULL OF MAKAN STUFF!

2006-06-06T14:42:00.000+08:00

Hmm, thot before I go MIA again, I shall put down something.

My baggages (one check-in and one hand-carry) are filled with makan stuffs for my friends onboard Doulos. This is the very 1st time my baggages are filled with foodstuffs and not clothings and books. In fact, only 1/5 of the bags' space is filled with my clothings, yet each of them could only get a little share of what I am going to bring. What to do? Have too many friends lah! =P

OK, friends here, see you again when I return. Thanks for your prayer.

READY TO GO PHUKET!

2006-06-05T20:36:00.000+08:00

Hurray! Am going to Phuket tomorrow! Though was upset with Jetstar for the last 2 days, the excitement has returned. The thought of seeing old friends again simply bring much joy to the heart.

Left office half a day earlier and went to buy some makan stuff for friends onboard. My goodness, there are a lot to buy and heavy to carry. Hope I will not be overweight.

Oh, this thing I must mention. I went to my brother's house to visit my sis-in-law and of course see my little niece, Jessie. She is so lovely! She was is perfect mood when I visited her, thus she was all smile =). She is 11 month old and is able to walk about 5 steps on her own (of course wobbling lah). It was so interesting to see her making those steps and laughing as she reached me. After that, I put her to sleep in my arms. I felt so...o...o contented with her in my arms sleeping soundly and peacefully. It was a lovely feeling. Looking at her lovely face, I thanked God for His beautiful and amazing and marvelous creation! God is GREAT!

I guess for my life, the only regret I would have is that I will never have a child my own. Hmm, that's a regret!

I WILL NEVER FLY JETSTAR AGAIN!

2006-06-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

Arlo all, I'm back!

Sorry for being MIA for quite a while. Just can't get the time to move a little slower, lah.

Anyway, back to what happened today....

I woke up with a great feeling even though I had insomnia last night. Went for breakfast and marketing with my 2 sisters at the Redhill market. Since my return from the ship, going out for a meal with my family members always brings great, indescribable joy. So, my morning started well and good!

Came back home at about 10 am and after reading The Straits Times, felt a little sleepy. So thought would go and take a short nap before going to Tiong Bahru Plaza to buy some bak kwa and Korean Instant noodles to bring to the ship on Tuesday (6 Jun) for some of my friends. Had been eagerly looking forward to see my friends, especially Captain Alex and his family before they return home (Holland) for good. Then....

At about 11 am, received a call from a staff of Jetstar saying:
1) Our Tuesday's flight has been postphoned to 19.05 hour (it's supposed to be at 7.05 hour). (This was disappointing, but not too bad.)
2) Our return flight on 10 Jun has been cancelled, and the only next flight that we could fly back is on 15 Jun! (I was shocked and upset!)
3) We may choose to change our flights to other dates without any additional cost (who would want such an option as we had all taken our annual leaves, changed the currencies, made all necessary accommodation arrangements, and all ready to go!)
4) We may cancel our flights altogether and get a full refund (that's it! A Full Refund, and nothing else!)

Well, to cut a long story short.... after much expression of our unhappiness with Jetstar's irresponsible attitudes (though their frontline staff were very patient and helpful), the dilemna we were left in, and their unreasonable NO COMPENSATION policy, they finally agreed to re-schedule us. Now, we got to fly on Tuesday evening and back on Friday early morning (our trip was cut short by 2 full days, on no fault of ours!)

So, my whole afternoon was caught up in trying to contact my 8 other friends who are travelling up with me, and negotiating with Jetstar Asia. I was ready mad with Jetstar! And I promised myself - I SHALL NEVER, NEVER TRAVEL WITH JETSTAR ASIA AGAIN!

PRAISE THE LORD! ALL IS DONE!

2006-05-25T16:53:00.000+08:00

Wonderful! My lesson for this Sunday is done! What a joy! What a relief! Thank God for His inspiration!

So, we shall see the Lord using the whole YF meeting to touch hearts and lives.

Lord, you know how deep my joy is; how excited my heart is; and how appreciative my soul is to you. No word can fully express my heart's gratitude to you!

And also to you who prayed for me - Thank you so, so much!

WHETHER YOU ADMIT IT OR NOT, A COMMENT DOES AFFECT US SOMEHOW

2006-05-24T12:50:00.000+08:00

I read someone's blog yesterday, and was very much affected by her negative comments on people and situations. Though I tried not to be affect, I'm lying if I say I had succeeded.

First, I am concerned about this person's negative spirit, for if this spirit perceives she will be very unhappy all the days of her life. I can't imagine that kind of life she is going to go through. I feel very sad for her. I do pray that God will help her see this negative spirit in her and lead her to seek help from someone she can trust (but again, it seems to me there is no one she trusted, sigh!).

Second, I am worried that others, especially those being mentioned in the blog, might be affected after reading it; just as I am affected. To be frank, it is not at all edifying, but depressing! Though I am aware she is simply expressing her feelings in written words, and that probably is exactly how she felt at that point of event happening. Yet, a little grace will go miles both for her and for those who offended her. Yes, Lord, I pray that you pour your grace upon her angry heart that she may be able to forgive and love.

Third, I wondered how many young people that I know are like her? I do pray it won't be many, otherwise it will be alarming. But if there are, let me know who they are so that even if I can do anything to help, at least I can bring them before the throne of God - seeking God to minister to them directly.

A LUXURIOUS SLEEP INDEED!

2006-05-23T14:35:00.000+08:00

The council meeting ended at about 12.30am this early morning. I was worried that I might not be able to sleep readily because my mind might be very active due to the many discussions and information squeezed in. I dislike sleeplessness! Since my return from Doulos, it seems to be quite regular for me to have sleepless nights. Just last week, I spent two out of the 7 nights wide awake till 3.00am. What a torture, especially to me who always need at least 8 hours of sleep each day!

However, thank my good Lord! Once my head hit the pillow, I was sound asleep till 12.00 pm today! What a luxurious sleep! It was so....o..... good!

Yesterday, I visited a handful blogs that belonged to some of the young people in YF. It actually saddens and worries me to read that some of them are going through blue moments, and I am in no position to help. From their expressions, I could figure out that their hearts are aching, their souls in confusion, their minds are struggling, and their beings are looking for true love, true friendship, true recognition, and true purpose of their young lives. Though I know this is part and partial of growing up process, I do pray that in their searching they will not be deceived into thinking that the world is able to give them the answers they are looking for. I pray that they will learn to look UP instead of OUT, for the "TRUES" they are looking for can only be found in JESUS CHRIST alone. "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. This verse is one of the eternal truths that the Lord gave to us. I pray that the young people will take heed of it.

Dear gracious Lord, please keep and sustain the young people in QLC YF. In their pains and struggles, reveal your reality to them, and carry them through this growing up phrase. Bring to their paths godly men or women to advise them, counsel them, listen to them, stand by them, and love them. Lord, help these young people to learn to trust again in this world where it seems no one can be trusted. Amen!

WHAT A JOYFUL DAY FOR ME!

2006-05-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

Immediately after YAF, I wanted to attend YF. On one hand to make some announcements, on the other hand I hope to see the last part of Don's presentation. However, just as I stepped out of the Conference room's door, Sally was behind me and the first sentence she made was, "It was very good. Don did very well." (Not the exact words though). Sally was impressed that Don had put in much effort in preparing for this presentation. Then, Charles, Monica, Ivan, and Yuki also commented very positively of Don's session. It's a pity that I couldn't be there. However, I am very, very glad to hear that Don did well! It's my joy to see my friends excel in what they do. For Don, I knew he had put in a lot of effort in researching, in planning for the content, in humbly asking for ideas and feedback, and in praying for God's help. So, he deserves the credits.

Another thing that brings gladness to my heart is to see friends of Don - Yuki, Ivan, and Paul, who availed themselves to help up in the skit. But it's not just their availability, but also they desire to see Don succeed in his endeavour and their friendship that warm my heart with thankfulness.

Dear God, thank you for this friendship among these young men. May you help them to treasure and keep this friendship with sincere brotherly love, with godly motivation to build up, and simple trust for one another. Lord, may this friendship be pure, long lasting, and edifying. Keep these young men in your grace and peace.

I LOVE THE FRIDAY BS!

2006-05-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

Dear guys in my group, thank you for the time with you. Thank you for your enthusiasm, for it encourages me. Thank you for your playful jokes, for they bring sunshine (though we meet in the evening when the sun is already gone) to all of us. Thank you for making the effort to memorise verses, books, and do the homework, for it motivates me to press on. Above all, thank you for listening to this auntie, for it is always excellent to have an audience.

Anyway, it's fun to learn together.

Thank God for each one of you!

PS. When Don sends me the photo, I will post it here.

BEWARE OF PASSING "HEAR-SAY".

2006-05-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

Sigh! Couldn't sleep! Not sure was it because of the chinese tea I drank or the active evening I had with the youth BS group. My eyes are tired, the body is ready to retire, however, my mind is still active. The skit is still in my mind, my thought is also on Sunday's Young Adult Lesson, and also something I did yesterday afternoon, which was not very appropriate.

It happened when Emmanuel, another Doulos friend, asked me whether do I know M well, as M had expressed her need for financial help, and Emmanuel was considering whether to help or not. Emmanuel had asked another friend S who advised against helping, so Emmanuel wanted another opinion.

I do not know M well, but I told Emmanuel something I heard about M from other sources, which was not a positive one. Immediately after I hung up the phone, I was conscience stricken. How could I pass on a "hear-say" when it might not be substantiate, or justifiable? What happened if this sister-in-Christ really needs financial help and my this "hear-say" report might deprive her any help? My heart was not at peace. Although finally, I made a call to Emmanuel and retrieved my comment, the damage on M had already been caused .

This incident reminded me again the need to guide my tongue. For the Word of God admonishes us to build up, not to tear down. And a careless words almost always tear down.

Dear Lord, forgive me of my careless utterances, and help me to take heed of James 3:1-12.

TAKE HEART, MY YOUNG FRIEND.

2006-05-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

Heard that a young friend of mine is going through tough moment of his life - uncertainty in his relationship with his loved one, but I thought he would be well pretty fast as he appeared composed. However, as I read his msn display message, I was alarmed by the pain he expressed. Indeed, love can be sweet when all goes well, but painful when it doesn't. Since I can do nothing to help in alleviating his pain, I thought I would say a prayer for him.

Gracious Almighty God, our loving Father, to you I uphold this young friend of mine before your merciful throne. Lord, you know the pain he is going through, the anxiety he is struggling with, the hope he clings on, and the many thoughts that are going through his mind, please pour forth your peace and grace and love upon him. Carry him through this trying moment, and bless his heart with the very presence of you, and shorten this period of pain. In your Son, Jesus the Christ's name I pray. Amen.

MY GRUMBLING HEART!

2006-05-17T10:40:00.000+08:00

At about 12 am this morning, I just laid on my bed and was about to fall asleep, my 2nd sister dashed in, raised her voice and said, "I don't know what happened to dad, you better get up and see!"

Alarm and fearful (she sounded something really serious had happened), I got up and down from my upper bunk, only to discover that dad was having symptoms of food poisoning, a mild one though. I heard my heart grumbling: "why must he always has food poisoning in the middle of the night?" (Apparently, this was only the second time that such thing happened. The first was about 3 years ago before I left for Doulos.)

Actually wanted to go back to sleep and then bring him to the doctor the sky is bright, after all, all clinics within the vicinity were closed and he wasn't that serious. However, my conscious was nagging at me! "Do you want to let him suffer through the night?"

After a brief struggle, the spirit overcame the weak flesh. Brought dad to AGH. However, throughout the whole process of registration, waiting for the nurse, then the doctor, then for payment, and then for pharmacy, my heart was still grumbling! "Why such long wait, why these trouble, why this cost...?" Even at this moment of journaling, it still has not stopped complaining about the shortened sleep, the ruined day-off, the need to attend to dad....

Almighty God, what a grumbling heart do I have! After these years in Christ, I still have yet to have victory over this area of my life. How could I serve effectively with this grumbling heart in me? So, I come to you, placed before your throne of grace this heart of mine, and asked that you transform it; for your glory sake.

FINALLY, I HAVE A BLOG!

2006-05-16T16:47:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Don, who came down all the way from home to help me set this up.

Hmm, why in the 1st place do I want a blog? Firstly, I'm not the kind of person who would place my thoughts and feelings in words and post them up for others to read. Secondly, I might not have the time to maintain this blog regularly to keep it active. When I told Kenneth, one of my Doulos' friend, that I planned to have a blog, he laughed at me. Indeed, it just simply doesn't seem like me to have a blog.

Anyway, I have one now. I shall see how I flair in keeping this blog going. I guess my simple motive to have this is so that the youths I am working with will have an avenue to know me a little better (if they indeed visit this site), and for me to get connected to them.

Lord, may this small step, being placed in your big hands, be used to accomplish greater things for your glory!